It is this image that stares back at me from the mirror. The same two eyes and nose that have always been part of my features I observe in this reflection. Perhaps, I am not dressing too differently than I might when going to church, a party, or even to school. Yet, this time it is as if I am gazing through different eyes. Everything looks different than it might have before. A pile of clothes lie discarded at my feet, remnants of the journey it took to reach this point.
Why all of this indecision? Why this feeling that everything about me must be the best it can possibly? It is because I know that the image I see, the one displayed across the shiny glass hanging on the wall, will be the very one that meets the eyes of all those I encounter at the Villa at Mountain View.
You might find all of this fuss understandable, until you learn that the Villa is a nursing home and rehabilitation center. The nineteenth of August was the last day I spent completing the twenty observation hours required by the master’s program at TWU. I was encouraged by the adviser to get a head start on the prerequisites needed for applying and I have been working closely with all of the therapists on staff at the facility, learning not only about their specific daily tasks but also about the numerous and complex dynamics that exist in such an environment. I have gained a lot of information and have many stories…
However, on this day, I worked hard to display a specific image, knowing that this would be my first impression to some and my last impression to all. And I must admit that I placed quite a bit of pressure on myself! I have known for some time that when I encounter a new situation there are certain defenses that rise into place; I suppose, I have a specific image that I want to display. When I meet someone, I am quick to inform them about the things about which I am confident – my large family, my homeschool history, my present education, my plans for the future. Moreover, not unlike the pile of clothes that I determined were unworthy of the special moment, I discard (or hide) the subjects that are more sensitive – my faith and my convictions, perhaps. And I happen to think that I am not the only one that prepares themselves emotionally for outings in such a way. In no way do we want to appear weak nor do we desire to seem too firm in our views of issues!
All of this came to my mind, as I spent my day at the Villa at Mountain View. The experience was wonderful and, as occurs every time I am placed in such an environment, it solidified my desire to become an occupational therapist. But, I also learned a very valuable lesson that I feel deserves to be expressed to others - be who you are.
I must admit that I have an aversion towards that specific concept! In fact, I dislike it very strongly, partly because it is often used in a “feel-good” context. Speakers use it to encourage men and women to feel good about themselves – even if that self includes an extra five pounds that could use exercise and a healthy diet. Disney movies market on this underlying theme that one should “never run from who you are”. Honestly, think back on the recent popular kid’s movies… Even one of my favorites, the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, includes that concept and even that specific line. And, perhaps I am being overly harsh and negative, but to me that always seemed an excuse to live life the way you want to. An opportunity to disguise one’s true responsibilities in the pretense of being yourself. There is simply no need for betterment in such instances.
Yet, here I am writing a blog entry about being one’s self and this is why – I see this through a Christian perspective. I felt convicted during the times of interaction I experienced at the Villa. Had I been so concerned about appearing in a specific way that my image in Christ had been disguised? I was not concerned about being “normal”, per se. In fact, I am one that has always desired to be unique and a little different than everyone else. Yet, I still felt as if the clothing, the make-up, the physical was all a façade. Was my faith shining through?
It was then that God spoke to me. Not audibly, but through the words of another individual. As I was saying my goodbyes to the therapists, my supervisor told me, “Thank you, Morelle! You have been such an inspiration to us and we always learn so much from you!” When typed out, the words may seem simple, but to me they seemed to confirm that my fears were unfounded. Despite my attempt to display a specific impression, God had blessed me and allowed my words and actions to impact another individual. I had not necessarily abandoned my faith, yet I must admit it often had been an after-thought. Still, and I must admit that the concept fills me with emotion, I was still able to be a vessel for Christ!
And that is my challenge for you all. Next time you prepare for a first impression, taking specific care to display a certain image, think of your faith in Christ. Wear your convictions and beliefs. Let others see how your faith is demonstrated by your actions. Whatever you do, don’t ever discard those aspects of your life to a pile on the floor. God is one of such bountiful grace and, those times in which we fail, he uses to instruct us and draw others to him! I recognized my flaws in the situation, yet God used even my broken attempts to display his handiwork to another! Let this be an encouragement and also inspire you not to hide behind a façade. Instead, boldly proclaim what God has done in your life! Be who you are in Christ!
